Singing I Wish You Were Here

For: Kristine

Singing I wish you were here
We sat with the windows wide
And the top open
Breeze through your hair
Sun upon our smiling faces
Off to the races
With the rest of the Sunday drivers
But we flew higher
Singing I wish you were here

Like the rays of the noon-day sun
My heart was warm
Like the tears I choked back
As to not ruin the moment
It was perfect
As we sat with the windows open
And the top down
Breeze through your hair
We were wild and free
I had you and you had me
And our smiling faces beamed like the sun
Singing I wish you were here

Live with Love

Radiate out like the tie-die on your shirt
Beam like the sun come the summer
Laugh until you want to cry
Live with love and never die
Hold hands with every stranger
Embrace a fallen foe
Embrace your life that’s filled with love
Then get up and go
See the world and be the times
Hear the song in the old wind chimes
Like the scattering of a thousand dimes
On some tiled floor within your mind
Drop your cares and stow away
Sail to many distant lands
Float along, your head held high
Live with love and never die

Monsters

I do believe in monsters
they live internally
infernally burning
they're yearing to take their turn on me
so I learned to see
past the glamour and glare
and keep my manners fair
as long as stamina's there
but a man is impaired
by that which does define him
it blinds him
yet in his own mind reminds him
of what he strives to be
until lies impede
the truth is subjective
we reply to needs
some rely on greed
to achieve their petty dreams
and conjure petty schemes not readily seen
but still steadily stream
and leak into society
prying it open
will have you crying and hoping
while slowly dying from doping on societies potion
your eyes need to open
and look inside for the token
be sure to hold it tight or else
it might just get broken
through the sight and the spoken
the monsters are provoken
and awoken inner demons
means the scheme is set in motion

Hangman

I'm jaded, worn out from the abuse
I hated being torn between you
and this noose
just cut me loose
I hang in despair
but this is life, who said that it's fair
I said I was there but you chose to ignore
you let me swing
always yearning for more
this rope makes me soar
as it twists and it burns
you must be in comfort
I'm taking both of our turns

Crown of Daisies

For Steve and Kristine

For a man that was married three times
He had but just one love of his life
She was the apple of his eye
She was a princess with a crown of daisies
Holding his hand to stand strong
Walking along in ruby slippers
In a Dorothy dress she sang

He knows this crazy world
He’s been around the block a time or two
His life has been as hard as he can think
And he doesn’t want the same skeletons for you

Always working, living on bread and water
To ensure she ate well was all that mattered
That she smile as she did when she sang
To his fragile face in the crowd
The room was full yet she dared not look away
For her fear of falling down
And he looked back with welling eyes
She was a star in the night
She was a princess with a crown of daisies

The Road Away from Pain

Troubled youth with plans of manhood
Put it off for just another day
Another way to let you forget
Everything you’ve lived for all this time
Procrastinate, wait till later
While falling down further through the straw
Habits form, a must-do custom
Ballooning to the point where it may burst
Such a thirst for all these reasons
Where treason wounds the soul and body hurts
A hobby cursed on many levels
Befriend the devil, shake hands with the bad
Make a deal and pick your poison
Do everything you said you never had
Fake a smile, lie a while
Be sure to bare false witness through your teeth
Turn your back and leave the people
You’ve been see-through in this town for way too long

Or maybe you could make a change
Umbrellas help to shield the rain
Sunshine will find you on your way
On the road away from pain
Or maybe you could take the day
And change the things you do or say
Remind your mind it’s on its way
On the road away from pain

Dolson Avenue Graveyard

My already heavy heart sunk at the sight
Part of my life dead and black in the night

Tear down everything that speaks of you
And discard it with the rest
You can fly your flag
But can’t say who you are
I took everything I could get my hands on
Threw it in the car
And took off

Our laughter masked our sadness
As we said goodbye
Deserting the dwelling
And buying into the lie that…
Things like this happen all the time

I took a picture for old times
From an abandoned parking lot across the street
You can fly your flag
But can’t say who you are
I took more than I could hold with my hands
Held it in my heart
And took off

Kiss Me Good

I’d surprise you every time
If only able, I’d do that much for you
And I’ve thought about it
Told you, straight out
I long for one touch of you
One brush between us
Now hush, we’ll see this through

Lock your lips
And close your eyes

We’ll see this through
Now kiss me good
Show me that you mean it

Because I’d surprise you every time
If I could only do that much for you
And I’ve talked about it
Shown it, spelled it out
I long for just your touch
But once is not enough
Now hush, I know that it’s been rough

Lock your lips
And close your eyes

We’ll see this through
Now kiss me good
Show me that you mean it

Live Your Life

For Mom

“Live your life and don’t be scared,”
Echoes from what seem like ages.
And I sit with my shoes off on the rug,
After I close the door from outside.
I’ve found inside to be much warmer,
Despite heating the entire neighborhood,
And chosen in rather than out
For in is where we keep what’s near
Near can be close enough

Distant echoes seem farther each day
For I am grown and blessed with your lessons
Kept near like my desire for the inside
Yet still echoing throughout the entire neighborhood
And kept dear like the memories we both share
“Live your life and don’t be scared.
Now close your eyes and just lay there.
Sleep will come and I’ll still be here
In the morning when you wake.”

I hear you in my thoughts
And in everything I do
I’ll be sure that when I’m through
To turn the light off as I leave

And They Say Time Heals

When I pass your house
I still find myself veering towards
The curb
I look for your car
I fight to keep from beeping
The horn
Sometimes your light is on
But that’s not your light anymore
And sometimes you’re home
But that’s not where you live
Sometimes I see you walking
But that’s not the person I knew
It isn’t you there standing on
The curb

We fell so long ago
I practically forgot we had ever taken
The fall
In fact, it’s been so long
It might as well have never happened
At all
Perhaps that’s what hurts the most
Even though I no longer feel it
And perhaps that’s what’s wrong
Even though we can’t make it right
Perhaps one day I'll finally realize
It isn't you there standing on
The curb

The Moon Up High

The lines of your face
On the white pillow spread
Stops my world from turning
As the train billows ahead
The moon is up high
Looking down on us two
The sun in the morning
Will light the way for what we do
Your breathing is slowed
I can watch your chest as it heaves
I’ll kiss your lips softly
And hope the moment never leaves
We’ll ease into our day
Together, hand in hand
For this is our portrait
And forever shall it stand
The stars are all diamonds
They’re shining just for you
And I’d pull them all down
If you only want me to
The lines of your face
As I lay next to you
With the moon way up high
Looking down on us two

Decadence of the Masses

The semi-new reporter and I got called into the "meeting room" by the Boss today...which is fine. Except we were the only two called in. And on "meeting day", when the whole editorial staff (all 6 of us) crams in together, it's a little intimidating and potentially career threatening.

So I crossed myself, asked the Staff to pray for me and headed into this top-secret journalistic mission. Turns out we're re-organizing our beats. How fucking great is that? Now, after almost a year of faking smiles and offering insincere handshakes, I have to say goodbye to all the assholes that I've conned into liking me and begin the process all over again. Fuck me.

I really don't even think it would be that bad except for my new beat now includes a town that's a good 45 mintues from home. I'm putting enough miles on my car for not enough reimbursement as it is already without having to drive even farther to fraternize with a bunch of stuffed-shirt, small-town, bullshit politicians.

Oh well. As I said before, it's been almost a year, which means that I'll soon be considered experienced enough to proceed further along in my chosen field, a.k.a get a better job and get the fuck off the sinking ship that the paper is becoming.

On a somewhat sad thought: my chosen field, should I had known what I was getting into four or five years ago when I took all those classes in college, might have been something else. I've dedicated my entire education, which really wasn't all that educating in the first place, to a craft that 1.Stresses me out; 2.Pisses me off; 3.Doesn't really interest me that much; and 4.Has a shitty pay scale.

Don't get me wrong though, I love writing. Poetry, fiction, blogging and just writing for fun is really great. I do enjoy it. But journalism is a different thing. All the big stories have to be about death or destruction or upheaval of some sort. The common pages are left for the feel-good pieces; the ones that give people hope or pride or happiness in general. There's already enough bad news in the world without a small weekly newspaper focusing on the decadence of the masses.

Word to your mother.

Nobody's Perfect

"...But I've come to believe that errors, especially written errors, are often the only markers left by a solitary life: to sacrifice them is to lose the angles of personality, the riddle of a soul." -House of Leaves

Welcome

Welcome to the Smoker's Lounge...not sure what's going to take place here. If it winds up resembling my life in any way, shape or form it more than likely will not have a focus.
Word to your mother.